Five Glimpses of a Hero
by Sganovik
Summary: Little Timmy has come far, hasn't he?
1. Heeding The Call

**AN: Just so you know, I am just a casual watcher of Fate/Zero. As such, I have no knowledge of the finer workings or mechanics of this world or any similar ones. If you have come here expecting such, then disappointment awaits. You have been warned.  
**

It was a behemoth of a man and that was the first thing that Irisviel von Einzbern noticed after the mist of prana dispersed. In the church where she and Kiritsugu opted to summon their Servant for the Fourth Grail War it suddenly felt very crowded.

The second thing she noticed was the state of dress… or undress, rather, that the summoned entity was in. On top of his silver locks stood a greasy straw hat with baubles and hooks on it. The one thing covering his modesty was only a pair of black briefs, the Servant presenting to the world a chiseled torso similar to a brick wall, thick limbs reminiscent of tree trunks and palms big enough to fit her head in a fist and crush it like a ripe tomato. Ending the bizarre outfit was a navy blue fishing rod he held in one hand and a stuffed red doll in the other. Turning to Kiritsugu he spoke, his voice deep and commanding:

"I ask you. Are you my master?"

LINE BREAK

This _wasn't_ King Arthur. While his wife was busy staring at the frankly ridiculous Servant they'd summoned, Kiritsugu was contemplating.

"I am," he finally answered.

"Is there something on my face?", the Servant asked, his regal expression shifting with slight discomfort.

Wordlessly, Kiritsugu pointed at his mostly naked body.

"Oh. _Oh!_ I am sorry, I was relaxing. Give me a moment, please." With that, a truly massive suit of silver-colored plate armor materialized on the Servant's body. And it took all of Kiritsugu's considerable willpower not to gulp, because if the man was enormous before, now he was downright _gargantuan._ Drawing a blade that glowed with cold blue light, he plunged the tip into the church's floor.

"Servant Saber, at your service."

"What is your name?"

"Well, my actual name would hardly mean anything to you. I am, however, known as Chicken Chaser, The Hero of Oakvale."

Kiritsugu and Irisviel only stared in silence.


	2. How Legends Are Made

Second Glimpse: How Legends Are Made

Away, away in the deep mountains of Germany, a majestic castle stood. Known to only a select few, the ancestral home of the Einzbern family was a marvel to witness. And, at least until the actual beginning of the Fourth Holy Grail War, house to one Master in particular.

In an elegantly furnished room Irisviel von Einzbern sipped her tea, courteously poured by the Servant not long ago summoned in her family's service. Said Servant, now out of his intimidating armor and in a butler's costume quietly stood by the window. Outside, in the snow-covered forest, Kiritsugu and Iliya played.

Chicken Chaser. What an unusual name, Irisviel mused. What kind of legend, she wondered, could spawn a hero such as this? Kiritsugu had been less than impressed with the summon… until he had taken a look at his stats. Her husband had never been all that expressive, but she could read him quite easily and whatever he'd seen had reassured him immensely. So now she found herself curious about the illusive person that quietly observed her family.

"Saber," she called, "Would you like some tea?"

The towering man made his way to the tea table and poured a cup for himself. Casually propping himself on the wall, he gave a dashing smile.

"Please excuse me. Seeing the flimsy chairs you lot have, I think it would be better for me to stand. Thank you for the tea.", he said with a wink. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"Was I so transparent?"

"Not at all. There is, however, something to be said when your husband changed his opinion of me so abruptly. Also, not to be presumptuous, but I have learned a thing or two while alive." Chicken Chaser sipped his tea. She could not fathom how a man so humongous could move with such grace. Then again, he was a Servant and thus, exempt from most rules that applied to living human beings.

Irisviel smiled.

"How did Chicken Chaser come about?"

"Quite mundanely, in fact. You see, back when I was about Illya's age, there was a man in the guild that really hated sparrows. Since there was no one else willing to deal with them, I did. So, I got the gold for killing them and then I brought them to old Myrna in the kitchens. Man, did she make a mean pig-, I mean sparrow pie. And thus, Chicken Chaser was born."

"Humble beginnings, indeed." Irisviel said through giggles. Yet, there was one bit of the explanation that sounded… off.

"Tell me, what do you mean when you say "guild", Saber?"

"Exactly that. The Guild of Heroes, where men and women from near and far come together to learn, train and fight in order to surpass their limits and one day become heroes."

"You are telling me that wherever you are from, being a hero is an actual occupation?"

"Indeed. And before you ask - yes, this is the root of my legend. The overwhelming part of my renown comes from slaughtering highwaymen by the hundreds. True, there have been other things I've done, but people didn't know about them… mostly."

Now this was unexpected. So shocked Irisviel was that she could only whisper:

"What is your name?"

"My name is Timmy, Madam." he grinned and finished his tea, toasting her. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."


	3. Friends From The Other Side

Third Glimpse: Friends From The Other Side

Kayneth El-Meloi Archibald was not having a good evening.

He _did_ have a great many things going for him though, the most inconsequential of those being the significant amount of money in his possession. Many considered him a genius, especially in certain circles, but most importantly he was ninth generation magus, born to a house so powerful that even if he were a talentless hack like some he could think of, he'd still be quite prominent in magi society.

And speaking of magi society, there was a very good reason that old families were so respected - they were settled. Families like these had access to funds, connections and other resources that a first generation magus simply could not hope to obtain. Two of those resources, and arguably the most important, were instruction and training. Those two things were the cornerstone of any further education or ambition one might have, other circumstances notwithstanding. Now, instruction always began with two simple sentences: "Always be calm." and "To be a magus means to walk with death." Simply put you could not afford to make mistakes because if you did, nothing guaranteed your continued existence.

Those sentences were gospel to Kayneth, but he had no idea that his foundation as a magus would be so harshly tested when he'd left his hotel room earlier tonight to start the War in earnest. Having erected his Bounded Field around the Fuyuki docks to keep mundane humans out, he and his Servant decided to put out a challenge and see what would happen.

Well, something happened. Namely, Lancer's challenge was answered by this… Kayneth refused to call this _thing_ a Servant, even though it certainly was one, and its Master. _It _was tall, muscular and almost buck naked… and it had a brass frying pan with a long handle strapped to its back. And _it_ was talking to his Servant as if they were old friends. Dismissing his musings and putting his fraying temper under firm control once more, Kayneth concentrated and listened.

"When I came here, I did not think it would be you that answered my challenge. Feh. I walk around all day and what does everyone do? They hide in their little holes like mice," Lancer said with an affable smile.

_It _gave a smile just as affable and shrugged.

"Yeah, tell me about it. We just arrived today. I almost forgot this whole War thingy. Honestly, I am just glad I can stretch my legs a bit. Ah, well. So, wanna fight or something? We can talk simultaneously, if you like."

"Suits me just fine," Lancer said with an excited grin and charged, "I could use a little workout as well!"

* * *

It was several minutes of inane banter and titanic amounts of effort to keep calm on Kayneth's part later, that another player saw fit to enter the stage, and wouldn't you know it, the new arrival was none other than Iskandar, the King of Conquerors and the Servant he'd originally intended to summon… with the uninspired little hack he'd put in his place some time ago. Now, his displeasure would be made known. Just when he opened his mouth, _It _decided to speak.

"You are here, too? Man, Alex, it's been some time! So, this little guy your Master?"

"Nice to see you as well, Timmy. Had I known you had been summoned, I would have called or something. Now, let me introduce Waver Velvet, my summoner for this War."

_The Thing _waved jovially with the _frying pan _which, until very recently, was being used to try and bash _Lancer's face in_, and gave the little _hack _apolite_ smile. _Kayneth felt his teeth grind with rage. So much rage, in fact, that he almost missed Iskandar's invitation to all Servants in the vicinity to join the… it wasn't a battle anymore, it was a farce. And so they did. And one of them was Berserker. The other? Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes... who also seemed to be familiar with the _Thing_.

A minute later, after a short and violent exchange, for the duration of which everyone was thankfully silent, Gilgamesh retreated. Thus, Berserker, being Berserker, turned his attention to the _Thing_, and Kayneth saw his chance.

"By the power of my command seal, I order you, Lancer, to assist Berserker and kill Saber!"

_It _didn't seem all that rattled, even with two Servants barreling down. In fact the only reaction this order elicited was just an eye roll.

"Oh, dear. I suppose this was to be expected. Ah, well, I was hoping to catch up with the pals, but if that's how you want to play it, eh…"

A monstrous suit of silver-colored armor materialized and for the first time Kayneth realized just how big this Servant actually was. With a confident, familiar, _authorative_ gesture, he summoned his blade and simultaneously blocked both Lancer's and Berserker's attacks.

"My condolences, Diarmuid," _It _sighed, "your Master is real cunt."

It was only the rigid training as a magus that stopped Kayneth from howling with rage. Then it all got worse when Iskandar trampled Berserker and threatened to help the _Thing _kill Lancer. The only option was retreat.

Kayneth El-Meloi Archibald was not having a good evening.


	4. Where Sashimi Comes From

Fourth Glimpse: Where Sashimi Comes From

If Waver Velvet had to use a single word to describe the situation, then "clusterfuck" would be it, and that was still a long shot from doing the current circumstances _any_ justice whatsoever.

How so?

Well, to begin with, there was a giant squid-like monster in the river, hundreds of people were watching and in the starry night sky there were Gilgamesh and Berserker, having the most spectacular dogfight in plain view of pretty much the entire city.

Next to him Lancer was scowling aggressively and Irisviel von Einzbern was observing the ongoing events with trepidation. Saber, on the other hand, was doing the most epic facepalm known to man and shaking his head in sheer disbelief.

"I can bring it inside Ionion Hetairoi, but even the combined might of my warriors will not be able to bring this monster down." Rider said.

"Mmm. And how long can you hold him inside?" Saber asked, looking at his fellow Servant and rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"For about ten minutes, why?"

"Because I am getting very annoyed with this squid and on top of that it does nothing to improve the scenery around here. Therefore Imma kill it."

The flat delivery of those words shocked Waver. But Saber wasn't done.

"Madam," he said. "Could you please call the boss? We need to coordinate."

A short time of planning later the team was ready for action. On his trusty chariot Rider charged and Saber stepped forward. Instead of a sword, however, in his left hand a bow appeared. And in his right hand three small orbs of light flickered to existence.

"What is this?" Irisviel whispered, eyes widening.

"This? This is the Bow of Skorm. As you can probably tell, it is not exactly a weapon one would associate with goodness, holiness and such."

The three small orbs of light grew a little and started orbiting the stationary Servant. Saber drew the bow and a black, heavy arrow appeared on it, the tip glowing with sinister red light.

Waver could not contain himself anymore.

"Just what kind of Servant are you?" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"The kind that makes sashimi for the whole city and not expect payment for it. Now shut up and let me concentrate. I am going fishing."

And just like that Waver shut up, only for Lancer to start speaking in his stead.

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"Well," Saber responded. "This here bow has the curious property of inflicting more damage the longer it's been drawn. And these orbs are a handy little spell called Multi Arrow, meaning that I will shoot four arrows for the cost of one. Now, isn't that fun?"

"How do you even get something like this in the first place?" Waver asked, his voice shaking and almost cracking from the sheer effort to not shout again.

"It involved grilled chicken, a magic door and some stupid priests. Oh, look at the time. Better tell Alex that we are ready over here."

One minute later the Servant of the Spell and the monstrosity he's summoned ceased to exist.

"Soooo… no sashimi?" Lancer grinned at Saber and nudged him playfully.

"Fuck you, Diarmuid. Just… fuck you."

Waver wanted to go home.


End file.
